DISHWASHER WANTED! Apply within.

Man, I am feeling LAZY. And for such a Go-To kind of gal, it’s weird. Worse yet, I am enjoying it. Yes, I am reveling in my own laziness. I am beginning to wonder whether I will ever scrape myself off my own shoe and GET THINGS DONE. Is it healthy to enjoy loitering so much?? I’m perched in front of the computer like my ass has taken root. What’s up? Normally I’d have blazed a trail to Oregon and back, but MAN all I want to do is just sit here and slack..

Maybe it’s the vertigo. I can only spend so much time inside the rock tumbler before it gets to me. This morning the dizziness was worse. Of course, Yesterday didn’t help much. NO Yesterday our dishwasher decided to bite the big one. Not sure how long these things are supposed to last, but our Whirlpool is just shy of 8. Doesn’t that seem young for a dishwasher? My folks had a dishwasher in their house in New Hope that was ANCIENT. Or maybe it just looked really bad.

I got a *feeling* about the dishwasher several days ago. For some unknown reason I started wondering about it. I don’t know why. It hasn’t been acting up, making odd noises or anything. For some reason, it just popped into my head. It may sound strange, but I get these *feelings* about things every once in a while. Like when I won that boatload of money at the Borgata. If I have some secret power, some form of telepathy or ESP, then it’s news to me. But once.. I was even able to move salt & pepper shakers across the table using just my MIND. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!! No, I am JUST JOKING about that last thing!! But wouldn’t that be cool??

Anyway, I got this dishwasher *feeling* several days ago, and then WHADDAYAKNOW the thing’s dead. I came downstairs yesterday and was greeted by a mysterious burning smell. I go into the kitchen, there’s dirty water all over the floor. In the basement there’s water everywhere, having leaked through the ceiling down onto the dryer, into the cedar closet, all over our Christmas decorations, baby stuff, all that crap we’d just stored for a rainy day – what the hell was I thinking?? My husband came home to assess the damage and we both just left everything where it was.

Today the kitchen’s a wreck. Dishwasher baskets on the island filled with half-washed dishes, a sink full of dirty pots, last night’s dinner dishes blocking the microwave. Filthy crap everywhere. And now the power’s off. So I can’t cook. I also can’t use the sink b/c the dishwasher’s been pulled out and disconnected. It’s out on the back porch now, waiting for the garbage men to haul it away tomorrow. So long Whirlpool, thanks for the years of service. Last night in my fatigue I rinsed out the dog’s dish, and watched in horror as water poured onto the floor from the unconnected hose beneath the counter. DUH. Yes, I felt very stupid. But I was too tired to care.

After dinner, we’d driven an hour to the Sears Outlet to look at dishwashers. They have a TON of appliances there, as well as a fabbbbbulous air hockey table at a LOW LOW price of $177. Which we ALL WANT. And they had heaps of dishwashers, but none of them *just right* and none at the price we wanted to pay. Sure, I could take that gorgeous $1500 stainless steel number for half the price, but I still don’t want a HUGE DENT on the front panel. I’m already screaming inside at the top of my lungs. Needless to say, we went home w/out a new washer. Fortunately, however, the Liquor Outlet’s right there next to the Scratch & Dent. So although we returned home appliance-less, we didn’t go home empty handed. And I will take what I can get.

I like the Scratch & Dent place – we got our beautiful stove and fridge there and also our new stacked washer/dryer. All of those look perfect and (so far) work great. But I am branching out. I checked prices online at Lowe’s. I like Lowe’s. It is clean and bright and on the weekends they have lots of cash registers open – with real live employees operating them. This would differ drastically from the Home Depot we frequent. Or should I say, USED TO frequent. This weekend we had our last straw with the Home Depot. We spent almost $300 there on Sunday afternoon, purchasing garden supplies, and had to wait until Sunday evening to check out. While 3 employees meandered around the nursery, laughing and joking around with each other, and one very overworked employee rang up at the register. ALONE. We were PISSSSSSED, as was everyone else in line. If we hadn’t already waited a decade, we would have left. LISTEN UP HOME DEPOT, You are gonna lose the Race of the Home Improvement Box Stores if you don’t shape up. I AM SERIOUS.

This past weekend we did quite a bit of work on the back garden. It isn’t going to win us any prizes, but it looks better than it did. In the evening I brought in an array of bowls and spoons my daughters had been using to dig a trench across the yard. These were of course good kitchen bowls & spoons, and not wanting to throw them in the trash, I stuck them into the dishwasher for a rinse. My bad.

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8 thoughts on “DISHWASHER WANTED! Apply within.

  1. You seriously need to sample some new wine or something. 50,000 flies, dead dishwashers and vertigo…there has to be a bad poem in there somewhere!

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  2. Connie, is there something that you are trying to SAY???

    Anyway, Dishy, ironic that your name is DISHY and your DISHWASHER is dead. Ha! Ok, now that that’s out of my system, I would like to extend my condolences.

    RIP Dishwasher: Underappreciated Gem, we knew ye well.

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  3. Oh Connie, you are sooooo right! Why doesn’t some long-lost vineyard take pity upon me and send me a FREE CASE OF WINE??? Why, oh why??? I am talkin to YOU, Sonoma County. But alas, I am left to purchase my own hooch and hand-wash my own dishes, which I cannot even wash yet b/c my sink would leak all over and cause my floor to collapse. And where would I be then..? In the basement. The cellar.. The cellar of my soul.. and that cellar is NOT STOCKED WITH WINE.

    And Hayden, Talk about UNDER-appreciated! Dishwashers are the BOMB. You know how much I hate cleaning, ironing, and pretty much every other housewifely chore other than Laundry (hearts & stars!!) ?? Well this is not looking too good for me right now. I am going have pruned-up stumps at the ends of my arms after scrubbing up all these dishes, which I can’t even do right now.

    Is it Happy Hour yet????

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  4. *blowing airhorn annoyingly to get your attention*
    hey dishy!!!! sorry about your “dishy”washer! now you’ll have to live up to your nickname. hahahahahah

    (i’m insane…i freely admit this. i had to sit a DOUBLE DETENTION today–from 4:15-5:45. i wasted a beautiful afternoon locked up with the ruffians. argh. and THEN i had to go to the stoopid grocery store because we have NO food again.)

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  5. It’s done off, hand in hand to the big scrap metal merchant in the sky with my iron hasn’t it?
    .
    8 is young for a dishwasher, mine is 17…. it seems pretty robust and I have a feeling I may get a few years out of it yet…
    It’s cheeky though sometimes, and can do a half-assed job sometimes but on the whole I’m satisfied. With the apprentice dishwasher coming in at 12 I should be ok if the 17 year old one gets hormonal! :o)
    .
    You ‘get’ that I don’t _really_ have a dishwasher don’t you?
    xx

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