Ideas to keep your kid/s from driving you crazy.

What do you mean, Where the hell have I been?? I don’t get to go to the bathroom alone anymore, let alone blog about it. Yes, I know I have not been blogging. I am sorry. I do care about you all, but refereeing between my daughters has to take precedence. To be blunt. These kids is driving me CRAZY! The fact that we haven’t had a car in 2 weeks b/c the auto body shoppe is holding ours hostage has only compounded matters. I love walking. A damn good thing. B/c now I am accustomed to walking long distances w/out rest, whilst pushing a shopping cart, holding 2 hands & balancing my sanity on a dime.

I’m hot. I’m thirsty. I’m hungry. I have to pee. I’m tired of walking. My stomach hurts. Mommy, why do people fart?

Yes, of course I explained about flatulence. But that only took so long. Leaving me plenty of time to devise a few diversionary tactics to keep my kids entertained while we hike across town.

1) Make up games. Your kids will LOVE THIS.

Our favorite is the super duper ANIMAL GAME.

It’s easy. One person starts. They think of an animal, and say “I’m thinking of an animal that…” and then you offer a single clue. Location, type, color, starts w/ a certain letter. You catch my drift.

I’m thinking of an animal that lives in Africa.

Each person gets a turn guessing. Zebra. Elephant. Lion.

If no one has guessed it, then you offer a second clue. Another round of guesses. And so on. The person who guesses the animal first gets to go next.

This is my daughters favorite game EVERRRRRRR. And when you get tired of animals, you can change it to anything. I like Food. I’m thinking of a food that used to be alive. And so on. But you can do anything. Trust me, this game keeps them entertained for AGES> THANK GOD.

2) Make up stories.

I have a million stories rolling round in my head, so I just pull one out. But even if you aren’t one of the Bros Grimm, you can still come up w/ SOMETHING. Where are you? Look around and make something up. My daughters fixate on animals. They give these animals funny names and make them do stuff. My older daughter told a really good one today about Bob & Phil the fat fish who went into a “Shrimp & Pancakes” restaurant and were being scoped out by the eel cook as potential dinner. My younger daughter came up w/ Bob the Hedgehog likes to eat poop. Just go w/ it. I tell you, when I make up a story, whatever it’s about, my ladies hang onto every word. They become so engrossed in the moment, they totally forget about how tired/bored/hungry/irritable they were.

3) Tell them true stories.

Think about things you have read, and talk about it. Or better yet, tell them about things you did when you were little. Tell them about things THEY DID when they were little. My girls cannot get enough of this. Daddy, tell us about when your foot got run over. Mommy, tell us how that crazy squirrel got into your apartment. It never gets old. My younger daughter loves to regale us about “That one time I peed in my bed.” YES SHE IS REALLY INTO BODILY FUNCTIONS RIGHT NOW. But.. As long as it’s about you – or them – or something remotely interesting – they will be happy. And so will you.

4) Sing songs.

One word: BINGO. Old MacDonald. The farmer in the dell. Three Blind Mice. CMON PEOPLE, You have to know at least a few. And when you tire of those (b/c you know you will), do like we do and make them up. We came up w/ a great song last week about a dead rat we saw in the street, it was called Flat Rat. That song lasted us at least half a mile. Perhaps the greatest children’s song ever.

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11 thoughts on “Ideas to keep your kid/s from driving you crazy.

  1. i’ve been wondering WHERE YOU ARE. your sweatshirt has traveled 1,700 miles–and it enjoyed the visit to graceland tremendously. it’s been a bit camera shy, but i’m working on it. xoxo

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  2. Those were the days my friend we thought they’d never end…
    We used to play the alphabet game…example
    My name is Alberta, my husband’s name is Alfred we come from Atlanta and we sell Apples…this gets very interesting around the letter X!!! These days shall too quickly pass! And laugh you will!

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  3. The animal game is SO CLOSE to a game that we played as a family when I was younger.

    “I’m thinking of a word that rhymes with ___.”

    Then the other people try to guess it, but only by giving the definition. For example:

    Person #1: “I’m thinking of a word that rhymes with ‘cat’.”
    Person #2: “Is it something men take off when they walk in a building?”
    Person #1: “No, it is not HAT.”

    You can win by stumping either Person #1 OR Person #2.

    I love that game and I am so playing it when we have kids.

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  4. What a cool mom you are?! I would love to have been a fly on the wall for the “Mom why do people fart conversation?” Are you writing all this stuff down? HA!

    When I was growing up we played this awesome board game called Balderdash. If you like to play with words and make things up this is an excellent way to build knowledge, vocabulary, AND creative thinking! Love, love, love it and cannot recommend it enough (even though technically you didn’t ask for recommendations)!

    I hope your poor car is fixed soon!

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  5. hey, sorry we missed you on Sunday. P. and S. didn’t get back till late 😦 When can we get together next? We have a b-day party on Sunday to go to but that’s in the noon time. Any chances? Maybe we could do dinner….whadda ya think?

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  6. They may be driving you crazy NOW but your creativity wins you a bonus – for the rest of their lives your daughters will totally at random, fondly say something like,” Hey, remember that summer when we didn’t have a car and we had to walk everywhere and Mom played all those cool games with us?” and they’ll reminisce and you’ll smile and glow and remember it all fondly too. I promise.

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  7. CurlyGurl, I hope you are having a fabbbulous time down south & one super kickin bday. You give that sweatshirt a big hug from me. I am slightly jealous it made it to G-land before me, but what can you do? Love ya babe.

    Connie, thank you for helping me keep this all in perspective. And I will def be adding the alphabet game to our repertoire as soon as the lil one is up to speed!

    Oh lovely Hayden, that is another wonderful game we will surely be testing out on our looong long walks through town. You are alll sooo clever.

    OrSo, you are too sweet, as always. I will have to look for that one, it sounds awesome.

    Erika, we missed you guys this weekend. Spent the whole time in Ocean City thinking of you. Let’s get together soon! xoxox

    Laura — HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY!!!!!!

    Tracie, thank you for the pick-me-up. My daughters will hopefully be bubbling over w/ creativity for all of the forced marches. Funniest thing, last week I asked them “If you ever have kids will you make them walk like this?” thinking they’d say NO WAYYYY for sure. I was totally taken aback – w/out hesitation both of them immediately said YES. Paybacks??

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  8. I had four sisters and (now) have three grown bio-daughters with a six year old girl we are adopting. I was smilling so much while reading your story. I recall my two oldest girls being so mean to each other at times. Now they are best of friends. Each of our daughters challenged us in different ways but our middle daughter…. omg.

    Fortunately each of them were gifted athelets and we were in High School softball for thirteen years in a row!

    Enjoy your misery years, for one day you will miss them so much.

    One game we enjoy on trips is the “Alphabet game”. You use the first letter in license plates or signs for your word. “A” = Applebees. “X” is the only exception… look for an Exit sign. This is the entire family playing together. It really is fun and helps the time pass.

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  9. Hey mssc54! Thanks so much. Will add the alphabet game to the rotation as well — as soon as the younger one learns her letters, that is.

    I wanted to mention another favorite, the always-entertaining *GUESS WHICH HAND* game. For this you need only a penny (or other small object) and your hands.

    To play, place your hands behind your back. Grasp the penny in one hand, then wad your fists up tight so no one can tell which holds the penny. Place your fists out in front of you (palm side down). The other player picks a hand. Turn your fist over and open it to magically reveal the contents. If they have guessed correctly, Now it’s their turn to hide the penny. If, however, they’ve guessed wrong and the hand is empty, no such luck. you go again until they guess right.

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  10. Okay then, did I miss the “I Spy” game? It goes like this.

    “I spy with my little eye something… green (or blue, red, etc.)” Usually revolves around a color and each child rotates in turn.

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