Should I Stay or Should I Go?

My 20-year high school reunion is coming up next month, and I’ve yet to RSVP.  In true blog fashion, I’ve decided to put the question to my readers.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?

BASICS: The reunion is being held over Thanksgiving weekend in Philadelphia.  About a quarter of my HS class has committed to going, and another quarter said “Maybe.”  I am one of them.  Tickets cost $50 – 70 each.

BACKGROUND: I no longer live in Philly, where the reunion is being held.  I presume Thanksgiving weekend was chosen to accommodate travelers who’d be returning to the area to visit family.  Unfortunately my family lives in Atlanta, and my husband and I had planned on celebrating Thanksgiving here in Maine. 

MY HUSBAND: Is supportive of the trip, but financially it would be a burden.  My parents are tied up for the weekend, so we wouldn’t have anyone to watch our kids (or pets) here in Portland.  The reunion would necessitate a hotel stay for two nights, boarding of our pets, as well as a babysitter for our daughters during the event.  It would also mean purchase of reunion tickets, gasoline, food for four, travel expenses.  In sum: NO SMALL CHUNK OF CHANGE.  Add the fact that it’s Thanksgiving Weekend, guaranteeing the roads will be packed.

BUT: A part of me really wants to go.  It’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone from high school.  I had many close friendships and have reconnected with many friends via Facebook.  The reunion should be fun.  They’re having an open bar & food, music, a video montage and even swag bags.  A lot of people have already bought tickets, likely more will attend.  For the sheer pleasure (and curiosity) of seeing what people look like after 20 YEARS (!) part of me says YES!

MY DILEMMA: Attending the reunion is possible, but it’s a big unnecessary expense.  I also suffer from Meniere’s Disease, a condition often exacerbated by travel and stress.  Portland is 7 1/2 hours by car from Philadelphia; a do-able drive, but in traffic it will be longer.  Bottom line: ???

POSSIBLE SOLUTION:  Enjoy Thanksgiving here, then go to the reunion by myself. If I went alone, it would be a much smaller burden, involving less stress and expense – one ticket, one room, food for me, and my husband could stay home and take care of things.  But how much fun would that really be?  How many spouses attend reunions solo?  I’d hazard a guess at very few.  It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable or confident enough to go alone, it’s just.. not ideal. 

SO. SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? I don’t want to ditch my husband for my reunion, but I don’t want to miss it either.  Is it worth the hassle and expense of us going as a family?  Is it better to simply stay home??  Would I have a good time if I went by myself or would I just feel awkward?  Has anyone been in a similar situation?  What do you think?! Give me your 2 cents!

NOTE: My two friends above WILL be at the reunion!

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39 thoughts on “Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  1. Christy,
    My husband Alex and I are flying in from Los Angeles for the reunion…a huge expense for us, but this is a once in a lifetime event, I think, and will be worth any hassles. If you go solo (or not) you can hang out with Alex and I. We can recreate our lunch table with Jenn Green, Shawn Kwon and Brian Isserman…how fun will that be!! Jenn and I are going to tool around on Sunday morning and see how the old neighborhood looks, you can join us for that too. I dont think you will regret it if you go…so please consider going…if for no other reason than to make it up to me for posting that g-d awful picture above of me on your blog!! :))
    Love,
    Amy

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    1. Thanks, Am – truly. You are too generous and lovely for words. I’m still undecided, but just knowing you’re going and are excited to see me (me too!!) makes me want to go if I can. XO PS: sorry about the photo but you look adorable. C’mon. you know it. ;o)

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  2. I think you should go but only if you wear those red boots! Do you have some friends you could crash with…that would possibly watch the kiddos while you and the hubs reunion it up? That would save a huge expense and keep the girls happy. How much did you enjoy the people in high school…sounds like you really would like to go.

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    1. AH, the red boots. Long live esprit! (Do they even exist anymore? – seriously, i loved esprit clothes) Anyway – thank you, Connie, for taking the time to encourage me to go. My folks are saying they can likely get me a free hotel room. We’ll see..

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  3. I was looking at the newspaper for the town I’m from… and I saw that they will put in the paper announcements about reunions that are 25 years and up. So, this made me realize that while I was thinking the 20 year reunion was a BIG deal, it’s really the 25 year reunion that is the bigger deal. Hmm!
    We will be in Philly for Thanksgiving– I actually work Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the library though. I wish our house were big enough to offer you a place to stay!
    Oh, my reunion– 1. there weren’t that many people. 2. It was $30 per person for hors d’oeuvres and it was a cash bar. Kinda lame. 3. A bunch of people who had spouses didn’t come with them. 4. I didn’t have to travel a million miles for it. But a friend of mine did come from Florida, so I made sure to go, since he was going to be there. I don’t think I would have traveled that far for it… or even asked off for work, if it was the weekend I was supposed to work.
    I don’t know Christy… I could stand behind any of your decisions– go alone, go with family, or stay home! But if you do come here, we can get together at some point, right?? And we could maybe watch the girls too (I work till 5 each day).

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    1. Thanks so much, Laura. I’d remembered you talking about your upcoming reunion when you were here this summer. Sorry it was a bit of a bummer, but I’m glad you went, and I’m sure your friend from FLA is too! If I come to Philly I will def give you & Joe a call. Love ya babe!!

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  4. Leave the muffin at home and GO GO GO! You’ll have oodles of interesting stories to tell him later and it sounds like you have a blast no matter what.

    P.S. You absolutely MUST call him while standing next to a blaring speaker say “What??” and when he says “What? I can’t hear you!” you say EVEN LOUDER, “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”

    Good times. 🙂

    P.P.S. Sometimes married people do everything together and it doesn’t hurt to do some independent activities to contribute to story time. Fresh stories! New stuff! Awesomeliciousness!

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    1. Hayden, for the “Muffin” comment alone, you get BONUS POINTS. Too freaking funny. Thank you for the gentle reminder about ‘me’ time. I do think it’d be super fun to go, even by myself. And it might be better for everyone – I wouldn’t worry about the muffin being bored to tears, the kids wouldn’t be beating the hell out of each other in the backseat, 8 hrs, both ways, and.. well. frankly, enough said. XO

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  5. I give some context, I recently faced this same dilemma as I was in the US with my husband for my 25th and opted NOT to go to mine, so I may be coming from a different perspective. My decision was a bit easier as I’d checked with all my close friends and they weren’t coming, so no one I wanted to reconnect with was going to be there, so I didn’t go.

    It sounds like you’ve come up with a really workable solution with hubby staying home and you going to reunion – albiet over the coveted Thanksgiving holiday. Do I detect a bit of guilt? Here in Oz spouses rarely, if ever, go to reunions because it is viewed as they are being drug to an event where they don’t know anyone and it is too cumbersome on the participating spose to make introductions and “take care” of the spouse during the event.

    My advice is any decision you make will be the right one as long as you trust what’s in your heart. I have no regrets on my decision as I got to catch up with dear friends which at the bottom of my heart was what I wanted to do, despite it not seeming to be practical at the time. Take some time to find out what is going to feed your soul and enjoy!

    Let us know what you decide…I’m sure we’re all waiting to hear!

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    1. Tammy, you know me too well. Yes, I am feeling guilty. Thanksgiving will be the same, we’ll all be together. I shouldn’t feel bad. Besides, it’s healthy to have time off on your own. I would very much like to see my friends again. It has been way too long. Keep you posted!

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  6. Carpe diem….sieze the opportunity….you can always find reasons not to do something like this….have bread and dripping for a month, stay in a cheap b & b…anything…but go! You know you want to see how they have all aged, whilst you have kept your youth, don’t you?

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  7. I love Harrys response so I’m with him…. although if it were me I doubt I would go. I put everyone beore myself. BUT! Seeing as its you I say go! Have fun! Blog about it when you get back… x

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  8. Since I’m currently being talked into going to mine, I say go. Of course, I have it easier still being in the area. My husband is not going – don’t think I could get him to go if I wanted to. But I’m sure you would have a good time and it’s only a few days. Good for your girls to see that Mommy can still have some time and adventures for herself. (Wouldn’t you want that for them?)

    So get in the car and have fun listening to whatever you want without interruptions, and try to see if one of your classmates in the area can put you up for the night. Then have some fun and tell us all about it later!

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    1. Thanks, H. You always know what to say. You are right — I WOULD want the same for my daughters.. Why is it so hard for me?? I think Daffy’s right – as mothers we tend to always put everyone else first. Maybe it’s time to do something fun – for ME! PS: If I go: mix tapes, check & check. PPS: ENJOY YOUR REUNION!! XO

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  9. Last year was my 20th high school reunion. There were a few different local functions and I went to all of them by myself, and my husband stayed at home with our son. He didn’t mind that I went alone, he wouldn’t have known anyone anyway, and would have been bored. Besides, it turned out to be a girl fest more than anything.

    Traveling to Philly would be quite a trip and expense and if you can go alone, I say make it a solo trip and go for it! Enjoy some time to yourself reuniting with old friends, and don’t forget to take pictures of your family to show off to everyone.

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  10. See I’ve flipped flopped after reading every response that I still have no idea if I’d go if I were you. I hate spending money, it’s just not in me. But, I love to travel alone and to a reunion you’d look forward to (I didn’t go to mine by choice) sounds like an opportunity to not pass up.

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  11. i swear to god i’d rather have a root canal than go to a high school reunion. i’m such a misanthrope, and you are such a freak, lol.

    i’ve stayed in touch with the (2) people i really liked and am not interested in the rest of the jokers.

    the photo is priceless, by the way.

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  12. Yes I say go & wear the red boots & matching dress then if you wanna go home early just click your heels together & say “There’s no place like home”
    Just be warned though you could end up in Kansas instead of Portland

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  13. Kristy,
    I went to my 20th reunion. It was fun to see how some people had changed in appearance SO MUCH, that I didn’t recognize them. If you don’t go, you WILL always regret it. Abbie

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  14. Go! I’m just back from my 40th college reunion. We had a blast. Have to say though that college reunions seem to be better than high school reunions.

    — Judson

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  15. It sounds like you want to be persuaded to go, so go if the family are up for it. I once had good ribs in King of Prussia, but I guess it’s not worth the trip just for that.

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    1. Zhisou, you crack me up. I have to go now – ribs are my most favorite food EVER. Well, next to samosas. Where did you get the ribs? And more important, what were you doing in K of P???

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  16. Dish, I was in K of P because of the name – how can you not want to go to a town with such an imaginative name? I’d been in Philly for the weekend, then pointing and staring at Amish people in Intercourse, ribs in K of P just sounded like the right antedote before the long drive home.

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  17. Christy and Family,
    I am so sorry to hear of Max’s death. At Mom’s memorial, Diane had mentioned what a wonderful dog he was. I feel so bad for all of you, as I know how very painful it is so lose a dog so loved, and so much a part of your family. Abbie

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